Adam Crawford | Director of Middle School Ministry
I grew up loving music. I remember the number of cassette tapes and CD storage units my mom had, that were filled to the brim. The way I couldn’t fall asleep unless my radio was playing.
I love the experience of listening to songs for the first time. I think music can be impactful because good songwriters take a concept or idea and make any song feel like it’s coming out of the speakers, directed right at your heart. God has given some people the ability to write music, and it is my joy to experience the sharing of those good gifts.
We’ve all got those songs that we can listen to on repeat, and those songs that remind us of major moments in life. Maybe it’s the song that was playing during your first date with your husband of 30+ years, or the song that you cried over in your car on your way home from the hospital, or the song that played while you watched your wife walk down the aisle and you tried to make sure no one could see your heart pounding out of your chest.
In high school, 17-year-old me loved Coldplay. I would listen to the song “Fix You” over and over again in my car when I felt like things weren’t going right. And just the other day, it popped up on the radio. It was like living in a flashback, as the heartbreaking lyrics filled my speakers:
When the tears come streaming down your face
‘Cause you lose something you can’t replace
When you love someone but it goes to waste
What could be worse?
Now, 10 years later, these words took on entirely new meaning to a 27-year-old who has had a really tough end to 2018 and an already-difficult start to the new year. I wept, alone in my car, thinking of things and people that have been lost, those that my wife and I have loved and had to say goodbye to in recent months. The helpless feeling of being unable to simply put myself back together after loss is overwhelming, and the even-more-helpless feeling of not being able to take away the pain that my wife was also feeling is even worse. I want so badly sometimes to just fix things, but before I could become so lost in my own thoughts the chorus rang through:
Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you.
And suddenly, a song that was most definitely not written about Jesus, points me directly to him. The gentle and powerful reminder from the Holy Spirit, right there in the parking lot, of God’s promises. That the one who can make dead bones raise to life, who created the sun and the stars, who made the very heart that at that moment felt broken, also knew my pain.
I was reminded that no matter how hard I try, I cannot ultimately “fix” my wife’s heart, or my own. And I was reminded of the simple and miraculous truth that it is God who heals. I was able to sit and rest in this truth, and I continue to dwell on it now, even while things are still complicated and sometimes difficult. In the end, Jesus will fix everything in this world that has been broken, we will worship him together forever, and those are the songs I get really excited about singing.